


idontwannabeyouanymore

by httpmolk



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Best Friends, Break Up, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gangs, Heartbreak, High School, Jealousy, Meant To Be, Mental Health Issues, Post-Break Up, angsty, learning self love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 01:42:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15280815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpmolk/pseuds/httpmolk
Summary: "Tell a mirror what you know shes heard before. Idontwannabeyouanymore."Betty Cooper doesn't know who she is. After a harsh break up Betty Cooper loses all sense of herself. She doesn't feel like the perky pastel northsider she is supposed to be. She feels sad, alone, and scared.Sweet Pea has always been able to read people. Sweet Pea has always been blunt and straight forward with his feelings. But for some reason Betty Cooper has Sweet Pea completely and utterly confused because for once her can't read a person. For once he is hesitant about his feelings regarding a certain blonde. For once Sweet Pea doesn't rush anything, he just lets time take the wheel.





	1. Chapter 1

Betty Cooper’s heart physically aches. She could physically feel it breaking, splitting in half, bleeding. She thought that she would fall over any second from the pain she felt in her chest. Yet, she forced herself to keep her cool; forced herself to continue to breathe and to look for a way to get back to her house on the northside of town. Northside, a place where everything is peachy keen and saturated in bright pastels that hurts the eyes if looked at too long. Northside, a place where problems weren’t spoken about but rather ignored. Northside, a simple word that would be the downfall of Betty Cooper. Betty was northside raised, dressed in pastels, spoke in a soft voice, and pretended to be just the average girl next door. Betty was the perfect example of what a Northsider is, except, she threw that all away the minute she stepped foot on stage tonight. Betty no longer held the title of girl next door who could do no wrong. Now instead she was just Betty Cooper, ex girl next door and ex girlfriend to Jughead Jones. Maybe trying to shake off her Northsider image wasn’t the best idea. Maybe she should have just stayed in her pastel sweaters. Maybe she should have just settled for being just a little to far outside of Jughead’s world. Betty craved being part of the Southsides world; people usually crave what they can’t have. Now, post Serpent dance and post brutal break up, Betty had nothing but humiliation and sadness. Oh, and a lack of a ride.   
Betty took out her phone, scrolling through her short contact list and naming off reasons why none of the contacts could pick her up. Archie? Probably with Veronica and having an argument. Veronica? Same reason as Archie. Jughead? Probably wasn’t a good idea to ask for a pitty ride from an ex. Mom? Inside the bar getting drunk after watching her daughter strip in front of the entire Serpent gang. Dad? yeah, how about no. Kevin? He would probably interrogate her the whole ride home and that was the last thing she wanted to deal with. Letting out a loud sigh, Betty gave up trying to find a ride. She walked back towards the Whyte Wyrm planning on just sitting outside on the sidewalk and contemplating her entire existence.   
Tonight was supposed to be the night that the ever expanding gap between her and Jughead would finally close, or at the very least, become smaller. Instead that gap just expanded exponentially. Now she was left on her own to pick up the pieces of the northside shell that had become Betty Cooper. Yes, stripping in front of Jughead’s entire Serpent family probably wasn’t the greatest ideas but she wanted to join to get closer to Juggie. She wanted him to be able to tell her about the Serpents. She wanted her boyfriend to trust her, to stop trying to protect her all the time like she was a porcelain doll that would break at any moment. Betty wasn’t quite sure what she was expecting to happen after the show she had put on. She expected Jughead to be somewhat mad, maybe a little displeased, but she sure as hell wasn’t expecting him to break up with her. Her heart ached just thinking about it. 

“What’s wrong? Was it the dance?” 

“It’s everything and yeah. Why would you do that?” Jughead’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

“I… I wanted to be apart of this...the serpents...your world,” Betty’s voice shook. 

“Why? I’m dragging you down, and now I’m dragging my dad down. “

“Jug he’s still figuring it out, it’s going to be okay. We’ll figure out what we have to do together. “ 

“No. Not together.” his voice was rough now, louder, more secure in what he was saying. 

“That’s not your decision to make,” she heard herself say the words, but she wasn’t quite sure she believed them. “How many times Jug? How many times are we going to push each other away?” her voice cracked and tear poured silently down her cheeks. 

“Until it sticks,” his voice was colder and it chilled her to the bone. 

He turned to walk back to the bar and finally Betty cracked. She watched as he walked away from her, from them. She watched as he didn’t turn around, didn’t stop, didn’t even acknowledge her sobs that now escaped freely from her lips. He was gone and he didn’t once look back to see the shell of a girl staring at his back pleading for him to comeback. 

The coldness in Jughead’s words had stung her. It stung her and left her more chilled then the cold spring air could ever. His words were a slap in the face that made her eyes sting with unshed tears. She choked back a sob. God, she probably looked like a mess. Her cheeks were probably red from the amount of crying she had done and she was completely out of breathe. She really just wanted to go home now. Maybe her mom wouldn’t be completely drunk yet?   
Betty hadn’t realized she wasn’t alone until a voice spoke out from the shadows.

“Isn’t it getting a little late Northsider?” the voice was rough and had an edge to it like a double edged knife. 

“Sorry my bedtime isn’t until 2 dad. Any other questions?” Betty willed her voice to stop shaking. She didn’t want a complete stranger to see or hear how fragile she really was currently. 

“Damn, my bad Northside. “ Betty could practically hear the smirk in his voice. 

“My name isn’t Northside, it’s Betty, Betty Cooper.” 

After hearing her name the stranger let out a deep sigh. 

“Alice Cooper’s daughter, wow what a night for the Cooper gals.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well your mom is currently at the bar downing vodka shots by the minute. Serpents really can hold the liquor. And I mean, that was quite the show you put on there tonight. Bet Jug really enjoyed it.” 

“Nope.”  
“Nope? Are you telling me Forsythe Pendleton III really did not enjoy watching his girlfriend perform a literal strip show for him? Is he okay?” the stranger asked humor tinging the question. 

“Nope, he absolutely hated it. So much so that guess what? He dumped me.” 

Betty thought she had her shit together by now. Betty thought that she had accepted her fate and would live on with it gracefully. She couldn’t have been more wrong. Saying that Jughead had dumped out loud fueled her sadness so much more than just contemplating it in her head ever could. She tried so hard to choke back a sob but it fought its way back up her throat and out her parted lips. Once the sob was out, so were the rest that she had choked back. All her emotions hit her at once. She shook so hard that it became visible. Her eyes stung so much, they felt so raw. She felt so exposed. Betty had become so lost in the attempt to try to calm herself down that she hadn’t even noticed the stranger moving closer to her. She hadn’t even noticed he had sat down next to her on the curb until she felt his shoulder brush by hers. 

“Shit, are you okay?” he whispered. The question sounded genuine. 

“No, I’m not okay. I completely humiliated myself in front of all the serpents just to gain the approval of my boyfriend and to be closer to him and what do I get? I get nothing other then being dumped in a bar parking lot? I just wanted him to let me part of his world. “ Betty keeps sobbing. 

“Well, he is a fucking idiot.” 

Betty was surprised to hear so much anger in a simple phrase, especially coming from someone who didn’t even know her. 

“Who are you?” 

“Sweet Pea.” 

The name rung a bell in her head but she was too tired, too drained to even try and figure out how she knew the name. All she wanted to do was get home as soon as possible, sob, and nap. Thank god it was a Friday because she would need the whole weekend to recover. 

“Hey, if you want to keep crying you can. I’m not here to judge, out loud at least. “ 

Betty chuckled. Sweet Pea had quite the sense of humor, but the joke helped her calm down just enough to form a coherent sentence. 

“I know you just officially met me but could you give me a ride back home? I’m exhausted, I need like a whole recovery month to gain all my energy back. ” 

“Sure, but I want something in return.” Sweet Pea responded. 

“What do you want?” 

“Your number.” 

Betty was taken aback by how blunt Sweet Pea was. 

“Okay.” 

Betty couldn’t explain why she suddenly felt comfortable enough to give a complete stranger her number. There was something comforting about Sweet Pea though, something about the way he was able to make Betty laugh even though she was and still is a complete mess. They exchanged numbers quickly and then Sweet Pea led them to his bike. Betty climbed on, wrapping her arms around him. She pointed directions to him, and minutes later they were at Betty’s house. Betty hopped off the bike and thanked Sweet Pea. Just as she was about to close the front door she heard a yell. 

“Hey if you need to talk to anyone I’m free to listen! You can call me if you need to cry to someone or something!” 

With that the Serpent boy sped off back towards the Southside. Betty Cooper stood in shock with a warm feeling rising in her cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is really short and I'm so sorry for that. I rewrote this chapter maybe four times before I was even remotely satisfied. Hopefully you guys will enjoy it. I wrote this chapter as a way to show the actual feelings of post breka up and wrote them from experience. I know it is a very Betty centric chapter but the next few chapters will include Sweet Pea more. I wanted to make this fanfic as realistic as possible and build Sweet Pea's and Betty's relationship up slowly. I wanted Betty to be able to go through the process of healing and finding herself post break up because I felt like that was much more realistic and I thought that would also help progress the story better. But yeah, hopefully you guys willl like this chapter!

Betty woke up with what felt like a jackhammer pounding behind her eyes. The pain radiated through the rest of her skull as well but was mostly concentrated behind the eyes, most likely a result of her constant crying from the night before. Betty couldn’t even force herself to open her eyes so much as a crack fearing that the sunlight would either a.) cause her much more pain then she was willing to put up with or b.) make her go blind. For now, Betty was happy just laying in her bed, eyes shut, contemplating every possible way she could preserve her friendship with Jughead. Yes, she knew that being friends with an ex was never a good idea. And yes, she also knew that considering the way things had been left off the possibility of Jughead even wanting to stay in her life was slim to none. A girl can dream though. After laying in bed for what she assumed couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes at most she willed her swollen and probably red eyes to open just a crack to adjust to the light. A mistake on her end because she could have sworn she hissed the moment she saw the golden yellow beams pouring in and bouncing off her way to pastel room. Why was her room so fucking BRIGHT. There was no godly reason for her room to actually reflect the sunlight and how was it possible that she had never noticed before. After her eyes finally adjusted to the ungodly amounts of light pouring into her room Betty decided that maybe getting up and moving around would do her some good. She pushed her heavy and once again equally as bright covers and blankets off of her body letting the slightly chilly air of her room hit her body. The chill sent little shock waves through her body jolting her to become a bit more awake. Or at least awake enough to haul her legs off her bed and land them on the side of her bed. ‘God, when had moving become such a hard task to do?’ Betty questioned. Had the break up really drained her so much that acting as a functioning human being was now so hard to do?   
Betty pushed herself to go take as shower convinced that it would make her feel better and would wash away the memories of last night. She entered her bathroom; the cold bathroom tile sending chills up and down her spine. Standing in front of the mirror, Betty stared at herself taking in her reflection. Her eyes were bloodshot, red and irritated to the point where they felt like sandpaper was being rubbed gently across them. Her her was a tangled mess knots having been formed. But it was the look in her eyes and the way her face sat that really gave her a shock. Betty couldn’t recognize herself. She could see herself there, see all her features, but the glint her eyes had once held was gone. The happiness her face could hold had left too. She was a shell of what she had once been. The Northside Betty that had once been happy and peppy all the time seemed to have decided to leave today. Seeing herself like that, seeing herself so empty made Betty feel so helpless. Betty felt like she had lost all sense of herself. She felt like a different version of dark Betty. Pulling her gaze away from the mirror Betty tried to ignore everything she had just saw. She turned her focus to taking a shower. But while in the shower Betty scrubbed at her skin hoping that if she scrubbed hard enough the broken, grimy Betty would leave and her fresh, clean cut former Betty would return. She scrubbed and scrubbed until she was pink until her skin stung. Even after all that scrubbing Betty still felt dirty, broken, and worst of all like she didn’t know herself.   
Back in her own room Betty thought out goals for her day. Goal number one, pretend like nothing happened. Playing pretend. If Betty pretended long enough that she was okay that she wasn’t hurt or sad or angry then she wouldn’t be any of those things. She would be okay as long as she pretended. Goal number two, preserve her friendship with Jughead. Betty knew that this goal was a little far fetched but she hoped that she and Juggie could still be friends regardless of their break -up. Sure, it had crushed Betty and sure, he had left Betty in her weakest of moments but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t be friends right? Betty was amazing at pretending and she could pretend that she was okay for Juggie. She could pretend that she was still in love with the pastel unproblematic Northside. She could pretend right?  
Betty was in the middle of brushing out all the tangles from her hair when she got a text notification from her phone.Hoping it would e from Jughead she almost sprinted to her bedside table wanting to look at who it was texting her. Low and behold it was her Juggie. Betty’s mind swarmed with idea of what the text could hold. Maybe Jughead was regretting his choice. Maybe Jughead wanted to confess to Betty how wrong he was for leaving her like that and that he wanted her back. All these situations flooded Betty’s mind giving her a false sense of optimism. She became so blinded by the optimism of getting back together with Jughead that when she first read his true message she was almost convinced she had read it wrong. She had to have right? She must be missing something, maybe the text got caught off Maybe he meant to word it differently? Then it finally sank in. He was asking Betty to not text him or call him. He wanted time apart so they could heal. He didn’t want her back. Oh, optimism can be so cruel.   
Betty felt a whirlwind of emotions. First was the denial. He couldn’t be doing this, not to her, never to her. Why was he doing this? Why wasn’t he asking for her forgiveness and asking for her to take him back. This was wrong all wrong. Then came the anger. Betty saw red and only red. Her emotions took hold and she typed out everything she felt in a single paragraph to the boy she had once believed had been the love of her life. She told him everything. Told him about how she always put him first, always made sure he was happy before she was. She told him about how she only ever wanted to make sure he was okay and happy. She told him about how alone she had felt the weeks prior and how she had felt like he had never tried making sure she was okay. She went on and on about everything she felt. She held nothing back and by the end of it she clicked send with no hesitation. Betty thought that text would make her feel better but it didn’t. She still felt equally as lonely, equally as mad. She didn’t feel any different. If it was even possible, Betty would say she felt worse.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Riverdale fanfic and I hope people can enjoy it. I've always been the biggest bughead stan but for some reason I couldn't get the idea of Sweet Pea and Betty out of my head. Hopefully I'll be able to portray the feelings for Betty well.


End file.
